it's pretty safe to say that i don't get too personal on this here blog. part of that is intentional, as i want to maintain a "real" life and reality outside of the blogging world. that's not to say that sharing personal things on a blog is wrong, by any means. i've just been very careful to keep the two separate, because that's important to me. what's funny is that i've actually surpassed the point of thinking "it would be really weird to just stop blogging one day". it's such a part of my daily life, thanks to social media, that i wouldn't even know what to do with myself if i just woke up one day and couldn't write anymore. all that to say, i'm hoping to get a little more personal with you guys. to share what's on my mind and things that make me a real person with a beating heart. because, at the end of the day, that's what i am.

so, i'm going to share something with you that i don't tend to share with many people. mostly because it's not something that comes up in normal conversation, and partly because i don't really like it. i'm afraid to trust people (she whispered). i have a very small group of people that i trust implicitly. and i'm so grateful for those people. but i wish i was more trusting in people, in general. i tend to distrust first and trust later, after someone has "proved" to be trustworthy. and i don't think that's the way it should be. i've had relationships (both friendships and dating relationships) that have led me to be that kind of person. side note: let me just take a second to say that i don't blame those people for anything. i believe wholeheartedly that everything happens for a reason. my experiences and my relationships have made me the person that i am today, and i'm grateful for that. i think they've taught me a lot about what kind of relationships i want and need, which is good. but, let's be honest, it doesn't erase the things that i've experienced and learned (no matter how difficult). sometimes i just wish i could fast forward and finally understand all the reasons behind everything that's happened, ya know? until then, well, i don't know...

here's to overcoming fears and being grateful for what you have. and to baring a little part of my soul to a bunch of people i'll probably never's surprisingly therapeutic. 

also: i just want to give a little shout-out to my girl Lindsay at Trial By Sapphire for inspiring me to be vulnerable with you guys. you're the cat's pajamas, girl.