on being vulnerable

it's pretty safe to say that i don't get too personal on this here blog. part of that is intentional, as i want to maintain a "real" life and reality outside of the blogging world. that's not to say that sharing personal things on a blog is wrong, by any means. i've just been very careful to keep the two separate, because that's important to me. what's funny is that i've actually surpassed the point of thinking "it would be really weird to just stop blogging one day". it's such a part of my daily life, thanks to social media, that i wouldn't even know what to do with myself if i just woke up one day and couldn't write anymore. all that to say, i'm hoping to get a little more personal with you guys. to share what's on my mind and things that make me a real person with a beating heart. because, at the end of the day, that's what i am.

so, i'm going to share something with you that i don't tend to share with many people. mostly because it's not something that comes up in normal conversation, and partly because i don't really like it. i'm afraid to trust people (she whispered). i have a very small group of people that i trust implicitly. and i'm so grateful for those people. but i wish i was more trusting in people, in general. i tend to distrust first and trust later, after someone has "proved" to be trustworthy. and i don't think that's the way it should be. i've had relationships (both friendships and dating relationships) that have led me to be that kind of person. side note: let me just take a second to say that i don't blame those people for anything. i believe wholeheartedly that everything happens for a reason. my experiences and my relationships have made me the person that i am today, and i'm grateful for that. i think they've taught me a lot about what kind of relationships i want and need, which is good. but, let's be honest, it doesn't erase the things that i've experienced and learned (no matter how difficult). sometimes i just wish i could fast forward and finally understand all the reasons behind everything that's happened, ya know? until then, well, i don't know...


here's to overcoming fears and being grateful for what you have. and to baring a little part of my soul to a bunch of people i'll probably never meet...it's surprisingly therapeutic. 

also: i just want to give a little shout-out to my girl Lindsay at Trial By Sapphire for inspiring me to be vulnerable with you guys. you're the cat's pajamas, girl.

21 comments

  1. Thank you for being so transparent! I can understand that it can be a little difficult to bare your soul a little to a bunch of complete strangers. But also, as we are complete strangers, speaking of myself for a moment, I follow only a handful of bloggers (you and your sister included in that) and I honestly look forward every morning to see what you guys have "cooked up!" With that being said, because I have followed you for awhile, a part of me truly cares for you as another follower of Jesus. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels that way. So with your fear of being vulnerable and opening up to strangers, remember that we sort of see you as a friend as well.

    One more thought... one of my favorite verses, "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

    There's nothing wrong with guarding your heart a little when you first people. Our hearts are really what everything in our life flows from. Just remember you're beautiful, and talented and God will take you where you need to go.

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  2. Kudos to you for putting up this post! Its the first step in moving forward with your concerns over this... :) Love your posts btw, I read them everyday!

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  3. I'm afraid to trust people too.... but I always think of a lyric from a sugarland song "quick to love, but slow to trust" ...

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  4. I would be sad if you stopped blogging! I love your blog and look forward to your posts each day! I even bought the cutest shoes because you posted them on your blog one day!

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  5. Thank you for the shout-out! I'm so happy it inspired you to reflect on your blogging style and encouraged you to share a bit more about YOU! You are wonderful, Lauren. Simply wonderful. #FMGDfan

    You and I are in the same boat! I don't trust easily. Sometimes, that's beneficial, and sometimes, it's not. My best friends were my Something Blue girls at my wedding, because I didn't have bridesmaids. I have wonderful relationships with each of them and love them dearly, but guess what? Those five girls had never been in the same room until my wedding day! I feel like I have a very small group of BEST FRIENDS (all from separate groups and parts of life). It's nice to get to hear more of your real voice on the blog, although let's be honest, I've loved FMGD since day one. :)

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  6. Being vulnerable is so important. It helps us grow, thrive, and become an even better version of ourselves. It isn't easy, and more often than not it is terrifying to lay yourself completely open for others to potentially tear you down. The beauty comes from not only being vulnerable, but embracing the vulnerability if even for a moment because it helps to produce (as i said earlier) growth.
    Kudos to you!

    This is not a promotion moment or anything so i hope it doesn't come across that way. Every friday i do a "frankly friday" where i encourage anyone who wants to be a part of it to be open and honest with themselves and those who take the time to read their blog. So far i've been humbled by the encouragement i've recieved and thrilled by the women who have begun to open up about their own lives. What you wrote just made me think of it.
    This was the first one i did: http://takingstepshome.blogspot.com/2012/08/frankly-fridayv1.html

    Thanks for your honesty!
    ~Amy

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  7. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart, Lauren! I have a hard time deciding how much to share as well. I do think readers like to feel connected though. Being careful who you give your trust/heart to is a good quality.

    www.domesticatedworkingwoman.blogspot.com

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  8. I'm sure all things will work together for good. what a promise that is :) bless you.

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  9. i am so excited you'll be sharing more from your heart! i love your fashion posts , giveaways, etc, but it will be great to hear from another side of you :) i think it'll be good for you, too! i love being real with my readers and relating to them...letting them know i struggle with the things they struggle with.

    and i know how you feel about trusting others. i've found that the first step is to trust God. you can trust him with any of your friendships/relationships and know that even if people break your trust and hurt you, GOD will never fail you!

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  10. I think you are great Lauren! Good for you for trying to share a bit :-) I can relate in the opposite way...I tend to trust too many people too easily and end up being hurt more times than not. I am so thankful for the wonderful people that are constant in my life to overcome those tougher relationships. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  11. I always think that, too...that I wish I could just forward to the part where I understand why things happen and what I'm supposed to do with them. But, apparently that's the ultimate test of faith and patience. I'm amazingly grateful every day that someone besides me is in charge of all this.
    Love the little personal touch to your blog today!

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  12. Thank you for sharing!!! You are so correct, one day in the future you will understand exactly why you went through every situation you did.. I am the same way, I don't trust people and I tend to think EVERYONE will hurt me. I pray that you find a trusting loving relationship that makes you oh so happy!!!

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  13. I was thinking about this the other day, while I wake up and look forward to reading your blog, your sister's blog, and a few others every day... I feel connected to you all and like you could be one of my closest friends - funny right, since we will probably never meet and you know absolutely nothing about me. But I respect your thoughts, opinions, fashion sense, and your vulnerability.

    Trust is something, that I assume, everyone struggles with. Either you trust too much and get hurt or you don't trust enough and keep people at an arm's length. There is a fine line of what is good and real and works. Reminds me of Goldilocks :)

    And I promise, God has a plan for your life and everything will unfold and the reasons for the way things happen will reveal themselves to you, one by one. Be Patient and TRUST him! In the mean time, keep doing what you do - because it is SO great!!!

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  14. thank you for sharing this, lauren!! i am with mia - i am the same way - i trust too easily and can often be burned by people. i guess it's the people lover / pleaser in me. :) you are wonderful and you inspire people in more ways than you know!

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  15. Overcoming our fears is a very hard thing to do. Good for you for sharing something so intimate about yourself and not being afraid to really connect with your readers on that deeper level. Side note, it only gets better with practice and time. At least now you've said it "out loud."

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  16. Nothing wrong with having a public persona and a private persona. That is normal, not a fear. Would you trust a stranger who offers you a ride or a new friend who wants to borrow money? Probably not. Not real sure what you are referring to but I feel you express you fear of roaches and love for cats very well. And you share wonderful information about beauty and fashion. Do you mean people who probe for personal information; finances, romantic life, religion/politics, childhood and family, then they dissect it, analyze it and draw bizarre conclusions? Or are they hassling you because you will not share personal info and saying you have trust issues? If someone has not earned your trust, then you probably should not trust them.

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  17. What a great post. I know it sounds silly, but it is so great to hear that no one really has this whole "life" thing figured out. It's a little bit of "oh thank gooddness, it isn't just me" ha, Love your blog!

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  18. Trusting people can be hard but you don't want to miss out on getting to know some wonderful people and making new friends because of a fear. I commend you for being brave enough to get vulnerable!

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  19. Trusting is difficult. You can not control other people, nor their intentions. I have learned to be myself among friends, enemies (hopefully they will see my good intentions one day) and new aquaintances. If some want to be ugly, then I let them. It has no effect on me, I won't let it.

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  20. Very inspiring post friend! I tell ya, I'm scurred at times to blog openly and honestly about things too... b/c of the same reason you fear... keeping a reality away from blogging means a lot! BUT I think it stems from the trust issue... which I have problems with in real life too! It's not that I think everyone is out to get me, and there's a Cruella inside of each and every person...It's just that I've been burned too many times that my guard is really UP and I'm holding strong onto it. I'm such a nice and positive person, that I think some ppl take it for granted. And I'm trying to work on being more firm... anyhooooooots, my whole point is I feel your pain, and I'm proud of how you opened up with this beginning b/c it's inspiring to people like ME!

    xxo, Bev

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